Tomorrow I’m going to Malta. I haven’t been out of the country for 13-years and I’ve been a little anxious about these new things called e-tickets and booking-in online. Last time I travelled, I had the security of paper tickets and checking-in at a desk. So far, I’m good to go.
What I’ve noticed as this visit has built up is that I’m determined to make every second count. It’s a short trip – I’ll only be there three nights – but I want to immerse myself into everything Malta can offer me. It’s been so long since I’ve had a holiday I don’t want to miss a thing.
At the same time, I am also realising that there is something fundamentally wrong with wanting to throw myself into a foreign experience. The enthusiasm I have for exploring a new place doesn’t match the excitement I have for my everyday life. I should be waking up every morning looking for new adventures and wanting to squeeze every ounce of life from the day regardless of where I wake up (which, in case you’re wondering, has been nowhere other than home for quite a long time).
It’s one of those lessons I know. I even dedicated the final chapter to it in The Inner Goddess Revolution and at the time, I was committed to ‘living like it’s a holiday’. The reality, however, has been more of a challenge.
To be honest, there have been times over the past few years when life has felt more like an ordeal than a vacation. It’s all too easy to feel overwhelmed or unmotivated – and then that feel-good-holiday-feeling departs, without a return ticket or forwarding address.
So this giddy excitement about travelling to Malta has given me the opportunity to reflect. To ask where I need to bring back the zest for life and what is blocking me from having that feeling right now.
Going on holiday for a few days (or longer) is great. The old adage ‘a change is as good as a rest’ is still as relevant today as it ever was but if you don’t do the inner work to cultivate a ‘holiday feeling’ year-long then you come back to face the same lack of enthusiasm for everyday life. No matter how many holidays you take, you can’t escape your reality. You can, of course, change your reality and that begins within rather than after passport control.
It all boils down to living in the moment. Tomorrow might never come, and quite frankly that possibility becomes greater day by day with those stupid boys with atomic toys in power. We don’t know. I don’t know.
I do have right now, as do you.
We have a choice to enjoy the present moment (which as I type is being chilled to the bone and blasted by a frigid wind on the pier – but oh, how wonderful to smell the sea air and be alive). I feel change brewing in me. I know there’s magic in travelling but there’s magic everywhere and I want to see it now rather than wait for another 13-years to feel this excited.
In a blink of an eye, life will be over and isn’t it better to have lived it like a fiesta (rather than a snoozy siesta)?