Last week, my weekend revolved around a three-day migraine which left me feeling delicate and super-sensitive to electronic screens.
I thought this weekend was going to be a repeat of the last. Friday evening, I went to bed with a slight headache which turned into a 4am, head-banging wake-up.
After spending almost 40-years suffering from headaches and migraines, I’ve developed my own coping strategies that often work, at least to varying degrees. Yesterday, I decided not to lean into coping but instead to lean into the pain.
I breathed into the pain and observed, trying to keep my focus on watching rather than becoming absorbed into the physical sensations.
It moved about. Became sharper, became softer, morphed.
I decided to experiment and to open up to the lesson that it was trying to bring to me.
The pain moved to my temple area. Intuitively, I put one hand on my right temple and the other on my heart, and it felt as if I had discovered a missing part of my healing journey.
The Temple of the Heart.
The bridge between mind and heart.
Pain – physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual – is a form of energy disturbance. If you and I are just a bundle of vibrating molecules, ultimately made with nothingness, then there is no difference in pain apart from our perception of it.
As humans, we excel at avoiding unpleasantness. We find ways to avoid experiencing the full spectrum of feelings. We label them good or bad when in reality they are neither.
Instead of letting them pass through our being, the mind stores them around our hearts. Innocently tucking them away so they don’t have to be felt but not realising that they block our energy flow. They remain like Saturn’s frozen rings around the heart, waiting for an opportunity to be brought back into consciousness so they can be thawed.
My headache was a symptom, albeit a physically painful one, of something stored around my heart.
I imagined my Heart-Temple and saw my headache as a huge, rusty, old chain that circled the temple building. I knew that the pain was the key to releasing the energy flow and dissipating the heavy chain.
The trouble was that I didn’t know what that chain represented.
We have so many layers of trauma, beliefs, and memories that it isn’t always obvious what is the cause of the effect (pain).
I just knew that I didn’t want to constrict my heart centre anymore. It’s tiring carrying around compressed, frozen energy and more than anything, I want to be peaceful and happy no matter what.
I continued to breathe into my head pain, while maintaining a connection between my temple and heart (it would probably have looked very melodramatic to my husband should he have woken up!).
Without conscious awareness, a prayer formed at my lips.
I kept repeating the prayer and then periodically checked in on the status of the rusty chain around the Temple of the Heart. Slowly, it began to disappear. Tears streamed down my face.
I reached a point where the pain had subsided enough to fall back to sleep.
I’d like to tell you that I woke up feeling perfectly okay and ready to take on the world but I didn’t. There was still a lingering headache coupled with nausea.
I was a little disappointed in myself. I reached for ibuprofen.
A little voice inside asked me if I was willing to throw away the investment of working with the headache to numb it back down again – to keep it frozen.
As soon as I made the decision not to take the painkiller, everything began to change.
Within 20-minutes my headache and nausea had gone completely.
Yesterday had chaotic energy, which included a leaky toilet, but I met the challenges without a headache and with a good-natured calmness.
Something shifted and I still don’t have any idea of the cause or the trigger.
I don’t need to know. I just need to be free.
Yesterday’s headache was a huge blessing.
I have a beautiful vision of the Temple of the Heart. I understand what can prison it and how, by inviting the wisdom of the pain into my consciousness, I can heal.
If you’re experiencing pain, I invite you to heal the Temple of Your Heart.
Let it go. Let it all go. There is such beauty to be found underneath the familiarity of suffering.
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