Last Tuesday, I sat in the park with my friend Amanda as we began padding out plans we have to work together (think: divine feminine meets womb healing meets empowerment). The sun had come out and it brought with it a group of four teenage girls who hung around the football posts and did gymnastics on the grass in front of the skateboard park (where the boys were). The girls were all pretty and slim with immaculate hair and immaculate clothes.
Watching them took us back to our own teenage years where both of us could identify ‘those girls’ from school and never being a part of that group however much we craved it. As a teen, I was tall, quiet, and bespectacled, preferring to spend my lunchtimes in the library rather than anywhere near the bike sheds or wherever the cool kids congregated. I never felt I belonged.
The theme of not belonging reared its head on Sunday too when I was teaching a Heal Your Body-Mind with EFT workshop. We spent most of the day clearing issues as a group and nearly all of us felt this sense of not belonging. We were the ones watching on the outside, not truly part of society or groups.
This surprised me because in my eyes, they were the people who did fit it. I saw success and confidence but underneath, they were raw and vulnerable too.
Belonging has been on my mind all week.
What choices do you have when you don’t feel you belong?
You can compromise your authenticity and wear a mask to join in with the crowd. This route doesn’t lead to personal happiness because there’s only so much you can ‘fake it ’til you make it’.
Or you can come peace with understanding that you’re a little different from the main crowd. Why compromise your individuality and hide away your quirks? You can still enjoy the company of those groups or people even though you might never feel a deep belonging with them.
In truth, people who walk a spiritual path have always been a bit distant from the rest of the world. We’re the ones of the edge of the village, the ones who others come to for help when ‘normal’ means escape them.
This doesn’t mean you have to spend your life in a state of non-belonging. Keep looking: there’s a place where you do belong. It just means your tribe is on the edge, like you.