I had got to a point where looking back over the previous year had become more sorrowful than joyful. As I am usually the eternal optimist, I still reach the end of December with excitement for the new year. However difficult the old year might have been, I can’t shake my enthusiasm that a new year will bring beautiful newness and loveliness and grand adventures.
Then I remember how different the previous twelve months had been compared to my optimistic outlook at the start of the year and I feel deflated. Depressed, even.
This is the first time in five years that I feel as if the year gave back, instead of took.
The biggest gift of 2017 has been reconnecting with my soul path and feeling my spirit return.
I have felt lost since 2013, a directionless somehow triggered by getting a book contract for The Inner Goddess Revolution. I felt alone, depressed, unmotivated and without purpose. I have shied away from writing and most things that make me visible. It has taken me almost five years to shake it off.
I self-published Goddess Rising in March this year. That was an adventure and I gained first-hand experience of taking a book from idea to publication. I did everything apart from the final edit – designing the cover, typesetting, sorting out an ISBN, sending copies to the British Library. It restored my faith in book writing, although still haven’t seriously set about writing book number three.
In April, I began a 30-day juice detox and finished it the next month. To be perfectly honest, I was not the happiest of people without my food. I was grumpy and I felt tortured making dinners for my daughter. But, the health benefits outweighed the grumpiness. I lost weight, which wasn’t a goal but a happy side effect, and my digestion improved. I felt radiant. Afterwards, I didn’t have a migraine for six months (my recent migraine I put down to drinking too much tea).
A few days before the summer solstice, I went to Stonehenge for a ritual. This was like a dream coming true: I danced among the stones. On the actual solstice, I met with a group of friends to walk our local labyrinth. Beautiful memories!
The summer months were spent reading tarot on a pier. Loved the view, loved the clients but ultimately, I came to realise that it’s not something I want to do on a regular basis. I also decided this year not to do any more MBS fayres.
In September, I went to Malta with my husband. I won the short break for two after entering an Assassin Creed competition on my phone. It was the first time ever I’ve left my daughter and the first time in thirteen years I’d been abroad.
We crammed so much into four days. We had a movie-set tour of the island with a local actor, went swimming in the Blue Lagoon of Camino, found the only vegan restaurant of the Maltese Islands on Gozo, saw miracles and relics in old churches, and wandered the medieval streets of Valletta.
I took away a lesson from Malta too: build on the foundations you’ve got rather than keep building new.
I’ve taken the Maltese lesson to heart.
The latter part of the year I made decisions to go backwards rather than forwards.
I began my journey into self-employment over a decade ago as a virtual assistant, focusing on getting small businesses online. I have always loved the creativity of web design so I did more of that (2 website redesigns and one brand new website). Plus I’ve worn my writing & editing hat more and edited a manuscript as well as other smaller writing projects.
Biz-Witchery will be fully born in 2018.
I also toyed with closing The Inner Goddess Circle. Like most things in recent years, I had lost my direction and I wasn’t sure what to do to breathe energy back into it. I listened to my heart and it pulled me back to the roots, back to where I started, and back to the time when I had clarity.
Rather than quit, the Inner Goddess Circle will morph back into the Soul Path Tribe during 2018. I’m teaching the Soul Path Journey programme this year.
I also decided to revive my neglected Facebook group: Soul Path Sisterhood.
I spent the winter solstice at the labyrinth again. It was magical in the darkest darkness of the year with candlelight and glow-sticks to mark the path. Then afterwards, supper with friends – a perfect ending to a special year.